Another Country

This weekend I wandered to my book shelf and pulled off my 1^st edition copy of the James Baldwin’s classic, Another Country. I was driven by my recent return to my own creative writing; the truth in his words that have been flying across social media in the wake of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, and the recent Supreme Court decision legally supporting gay marriage.

Baldwin was one of my childhood heroes, as were many of the classic literary figures of the last century. I was lucky to be introduced to Claude Brown’s, Manchild in the Promised Land, by my 7^th grade creative writing teacher, when he noticed my boredom with the required reading. My parents approved me to check out and read the book, and after a long 6 months of getting through the book, and asking many uncomfortable questions, I was hooked. I was then opened to the world over the next several years to Ellison, Wright, Hughes, Hurston, Angelou, and most prominently, Baldwin. The years before had been a childhood spent exploring African-American and African history through encyclopedias, biographies written for children, and magazines.  These books allowed a young Black kid, living in a predominately white and conservative suburb of Los Angeles, the opportunity to connect to African-American experiences across the country, if not, the world. Manchild and later Baldwin’s, Go Tell It On The Mountain, also connected me to the experiences of other Black male experiences that was absent in the required reading in most of my classes.

Another Country, once I read it in early high school, instantly became one of my favorite books, and occupies that space in my life until this day. It not only introduced me to many different types of relationships and lifestyles, but also helps to counter the constant racist, homophobic, sexist, and other norms that existed in my immediate and broader environment. As a young straight male, Baldwin’s illustration of gay and bisexual characters were transformative in how I would positively perceive all individuals in society, and instilled the value that we all had the same struggles and human emotion, and desire for love in our lives. The early 80’s environment that I read this 1963 classic in did not embrace this humanity.

Now I embark on this journey again, reading a novel that I have read more than any other (I don’t re-read books often), wondering what my thoughts, feeling, reactions, emotions, and insights will be.  I am only a few pages in, and already understand, and feel what drew me in over 30 years ago. In the coming months I will share how the reading of this classis sits with me a generation later.

Self-Care Series Part 2 – Meditation

Over the next several weeks I will be releasing a series of short blogs on self-care, based on many things that I do personally, and what I have observed in others. This will be a primer for a future self-care and life journey book to appear in 2016. Enjoy the journey!

This is the second blog in my Self-Care Series.

Meditation

I just finished my morning mediation, and I reflected to when I was a kid, and I would often sit in meditative states unaware that I was tapping into an ancient practice that exist in different forms in many cultures. I would move away from my quiet sessions alone where I attempt to calm myself during frustrating times ad a child. As I grew into a young adult I viewed meditation/mindfulness as something that was not attainable to me. It was something that well trained followers of eastern religions executed, and unless I converted to those faiths, meditation was not accessible to me. I was not aware that many faiths, non-faiths, religions, cultures, ethnicities, etc. practiced some form of meditation. Over the last 15 years I have been lucky enough to rediscover meditation through reading, spiritual discovery, and yoga.

For most of us the toughest thing to do is to be alone with ourselves, with no music, television, reading, video games or any other activity going on, except sitting quietly with just you. I know when I first began to sit; I was terrified of what I might find out about my true self.

My practice has been pulled from different traditions, but mainly tied to Buddhist and yogic traditions. I first re-attempted meditation years ago through reading books by Stephen Bachelor (Buddhism Without Beliefs), and Angel Kyodo Williams (Being Black). I was not looking for a religion to follow, but more looking for spiritual practices to incorporate into my life that would help with keeping a daily balance, and facing my fears. My practice would remain erratic for several years, until about 7 years ago when I began running regularly again, and practicing yoga. I also was reading text by many spiritual leaders (Pema Chodron, Thich Naht Hahn, the Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra. etc.), all of which put forth meditation as one way to bring happiness and joy into your life. One of the hardest parts of meditation is all those thoughts running through your head, and how you begin to let them flow by, and not trigger the fears that impede each day.

It also began to look at how meditation has been instrumental in the following, supported now by medical, scientific, and personal accounts.

·         Emotional well-being

·         Improved physical and emotional stress

·         Improved health, including reduction in blood pressure

·         Improved breathing and relaxation

·         Reduction in worrying and anxiety

·         Improved optimism

·         Improved focus

·         Less depression

·         Better thinking and creativity

·         Lessons premenstrual and menopausal problems

·         And many more

I practice daily now, and incorporate meditation into my other activities, such as running. Meditation is not just sitting with your legs crossed on a cushion. You can sit in a chair; meditate as you exercise, on your walk to work, and many other activities. I even use mindfulness during those stuff conversations and meetings at home and work. I also meditate now with my 2 young children, teaching them early the benefits of mindfulness. My son has testified how he has used his breathing in tough situations in school successfully. In fact, a group called Mindful Schools in Oakland, CA has introduced mindfulness as a way to improve behavior of students.

Meditation is a powerful tool that takes the simplest and hardest action, just being with ourselves. Practicing mindfulness/meditation does not require you to visit a guru or temple, or even attend a yoga or meditation class. There are plenty of guides in spiritual books, or online. Find the style and type of practice that works for you. Whether you sit quietly and follow your breath, or scan your body, or stand next to a running river with your hands at your side, find that space in your daily routine to take, 5, 10, 15, 30 60 minutes to honor  yourself, and you just might find many other parts of your life improve.

Self-Care Series Part 1 – Journal/Write-It-Down!

Over the next several weeks I will be releasing a series of short blogs on self-care, based on many things that I do personally, and what I have observed in others. This will be a primer for a future self-care and life journey book to appear in 2016. Enjoy the journey!

This is the first blog in my Self-Care Series.

Journal/Write-It-Down!

Over the years I have been handed many journals from friends, family, and mentors encouraging me to write down my thoughts. Therapists have suggested journaling, and countless online and magazine self-help articles have sung the virtues of journaling. In high school my dad gave me a Kahlil Gibran themed journal that I poured my thoughts, dreams, and fears into. Yes, it was mainly stuff about girls, sports and music, but it was my space where on many days I was able to have a conversation with myself through the written word. I still have that journal, and often laugh at what I wrote, but at the time those were the most important expressions in the world to me. Each word I wrote was essential, and important to a young man whose world was changing every day, which often brought confusion, pain, and suffering.

I would continue to journal sporadically over the years, often mixed in with poems, story ideals, and political rants. A few years back my therapist encouraged me to buy a book called, The Artist Way, by Julia Cameron. I went out and bought it right after our session, and was immersed into the first few chapters within hours. The first lesson in the book was to start doing something she affectionately called “The Morning Pages”. The concept was instead of journaling at random times or not all, was to write as close as possible to awaking each morning. The goal is to write three pages each day in your journal. Subject and topic do not matter; you just get it out as you are at your rawest point of the day.

I have been journaling in this fashion for over 5 years, and it has been powerful. Journaling has improved my mood, provided a space for release, and helped to create more balance in my life. Friends that have picked up on this method also report the powerful nature of writing just as you rise. I journal typically somewhere in my house, and am accompanied by a class of water, and a cup of green tea. When traveling I have my journal, and green tea bags in tow. I start my day by facing and releasing the day before, and setting a course for each precious moment of the coming day.  

Regardless of how you choose to journal, journaling each day is a wonderful tool to address stress, anxiety, fear, and depression. It also creates a space to explore your hopes, dreams, and ambitions.

How to Start a Special Interest Group

A link to a article I wrote for ehow on how to start a special interest group.

http://www.ehow.com/how_8779170_start-special-interest-group.html

The Only Truth After 47 Years!

I finally arrived at 47 years of age on March 7th, the timing of which was not a mystery, but the arrival at times may have been doubt. It feels like a strange number, without the ceremonial significance of turning 50. No AARP card yet, but the reminders of my pending discount glory will start arriving in the mail and via email soon. However, it is significant because after 47 years I have come to discover that the only truth in life is love, in all its forms, not death and taxes.

Love of Self – The most powerful and often hardest to attain is the one form of love we must first manifest before connecting to all. I was luckily raised to embrace self-love, and though I have lost my way on this road many times, I always find my way back to my core that allows me to connect to all.

Love of and for Family, and Friends – Without the strength, wisdom, generosity, and support of my family and friends each valley would have been harder to cross, and each mountain more difficult to climb. We don’t walk this journey alone, and my family and friends have reminded me of this constantly.

Community and Environment – A love that each and every person has the opportunity to be all they can be, each moment of every day. The love that we all have the ability to live in a world that is safe, clean, and peaceful. This is what drives my “professional” life each day.

Love of My Kids – My kids, Miles and Yemaya, are my greatest source of joy, and at time fear. For I never stop thinking about their safety, and life outcomes, knowing how little of it is in my control. In the end, I know there are no other beings on this planet that I would sacrifice all to protect and make happy.

Of a Life Partner – The most elusive love in my life, but through trial and error I have found the path to this love. Somewhere in sharing your life with one person we are tied to a truth that is deep inside each of you, and transcends sight, touch, and sound. This wonderful union of love vibrates in your being, and can appear at any time on your journey, at any age. I have found this truth.

Our Universal Connection – This love is what ties me to all things and beings in this world, and beyond. The reality that we are all interconnected and interdependent on each other, and must treat each other with kindness, and compassion at all times.

And now I strive to live these truths every day, knowing some days I will struggle with some or all, but am always aware of loves constant presence in and around me.

Open Letter to My Son Miles, On Too Many Eves of Violence Against Black and Brown Boys

I somehow hoped you would be 18 or maybe 16 when I had to write this letter to you, but you are 10! After a long few years of explaining to you why Black boys are being killed by policy and neighbors, with no justice, 4, 6 or 8 years from now may be too late.  After more than a year of tears rolling down my face and questions whirling in your mind, yes, 4, 6 or 8 years from now may be too late!

I also thought this letter would be private, and in many ways it is, but in the end there are many other Black, Brown and other boys that need to read and hear these words.

In the past few years, if not during your entire young life, we have educated you to treat all people with kindness, compassion and respect, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, income, orientation and any other way they may appear or choose to exist in this world.  Your compassionate soul is what I love most about you and there are things that can even erode that state of being. Our mindfulness and yoga practice is not just to ensure your spiritual peace, but to also guard you against the reactions that could one day prove to fateful.

I have also began to walk you through this countries ugly history with race and violence, in particular with African-American’s, Blacks, Coloreds, Negroes…  We have also discussed discrimination against people from Mexico, where your mother is from and the ugly backlash in this country against immigrants from Latin America.  It is ironic that this history exist in the land of liberty, since we are the backs that much of this country was built on. Free Black labor during slavery allowed for the growth of wealth in this country that is still supported by the exploitation of immigrants through immoral labor practices.

I watched your eyes and listened to your reaction as we watched, Eyes on the Prize and the Roots mini-series these last few years, as you declared the lack of fairness and cruelty inherent in these historic lessons. This began to show you the path of violence pointed at those of African descent in this country; from our dragging across the Atlantic in chains, through slavery, down the river of Jim Crow, up the mountain of segregation, through the alleys of ghettos and now firmly rooted in economic, social and psychological imprisonment. This imprisonment shows a brighter path to prison for young Black men than to college. It supports the development of the prison industrial complex that is keeping us in cages, while exploiting the labor of those incarcerated and reducing support for educational achievement.

Much of our society is built on violence and often maintained by violence. Many men and women serve bravely in our arm forces, as did two of your great-grandfathers in World War II, and many other family members. However, we continue to maintain the perceived security of our country through acts of violence that then permeates throughout our society. Unfortunately, the right to have a gun is more sacred than the right to love much too often in this country.

We are not immune to violence in our own family. Violence has run through our family. Our family has witnessed violence in all its forms. Some at the hands of others and some aimed at each other. It is not a pretty part of our history. The pressure cooker this society has created has seen murder, domestic violence, rape, war, suicide, prostitution, drug addiction, psychological challenges and others descend into our lives. As I stood delivering the eulogy last year at your great-grandmother’s funeral, I looked into the eyes of the many generations that sat before me. I saw not only our family’s ugly history, but also the ugly history of this country.  I thought as we said goodbye to our matriarch, how amazing it was for her to live 94 years, and touched a century of history, always striving to heal the pain and suffering of all that came after her.  In that room there were people that had fought each other, pointed guns at one another, sat behind prison walls and been committed to mental health institutions. I looked at your sister and you and as I observed your innocence, I hoped with all my being that neither of you would ever experience such pain.

These ills in our family, in our society are tied to the structures and systems that many cannot see and want to ignore.  They have created mental health and other challenges that have contributed to these acts of self-hatred and destruction. As I have done genealogical research on our family, which you have shown amazing interest, I have uncovered violence tied to slavery, Jim Crow and in the home. We are not and should not remain imprisoned by the systems of the past.

In the past few years as each shooting of young African-American men emerges, I always think of you and what it will be like for you as you enter the world as a young man. The killings without due justice for so many is painful, it makes me almost nostalgic for the “driving while Black” periods of my life, which have not completely withered away and lead to often to the apprehension Black and Brown men.

• Trayvon Martin -17
• Michael Brown - 18
• Tamir Rice - 12
• Andy Lopez – 13
• Countless others 

The recent killings and the subsequent lack of justice points to a society that truly does not value our lives and the makes the call for “Black Lives Matter” resound loudly in all corners of our great country. I often flashback to the many incidents that I had with police officers and others in powerful positions as a young man. Though in a few cases, I made mistakes, 99 percent of the time I was just a kid attempting to enjoy life.

You have unfortunately seen in person during our trips to Los Angeles how racial profiling works. After our last trip to Los Angeles, you mentioned to me that this was the first time in a while we did not get pulled over by the police. What I did not mention to you is that growing up in and around Los Angeles my friends and I accepted this reality as a part of our lives. We were always prepared to be pulled over and asked where we live and what we were doing in the community, though the officers often already new us.  In one six-month period when I was 18-19, I was pulled over at least 30 times by police.

On at least two occasions the officers that pulled me over, had guns drawn and with one false move I might have been on a list of young Black men killed. On many occasions, I was dragged from my car, not knowing whether I was going to live or die in that moment. Hands raised, heart racing, I knew that one flinch would leave me locked up, wounded or dead. This is something that has never left me. There is not a moment, even now, as I work in partnership with local law enforcement to make our communities a brighter, safer and more vibrant place to live that the appearance of a police car near me does not instill a sense of safety, it instills fear. Not knowing whether they see Charles the community leader and father or just another Black man that they don’t mind turning into a statistic.

I think of you at this time, whether you are in the car or not and that day we hand you your first set of car keys. I realize I have to start the lessons on how you must hold your hands and talk when police or other law enforcement officer approaches, where you can and cannot be and at what times, how you must dress to reduce suspicion, how you must potentially compromise you out of fear.

As a father you only want to protect your children and provide them with the tools needed to survive in an all too dangerous society. It does not matter if we are talking about the ills of gangs and drugs, which remnants still exist in our neighborhood or the option of moving to a suburb where the color of your skin may inspire someone to see you as a threat and react.

I also watch the news and see Brown babies that have escaped war and drugs and poverty in other countries, detained and sent back to places where their lives are threatened. They are not being given the same value in our society as others that have arrived on these shores from the claws of religious, economic, ethnic and other forms of persecution. I think about your mom’s families proud farm worker tradition that provided for a strong family and wonder what burden you carry being both Black and Brown and how you will choose to travel through our country when you represent two of the often most despised individuals on our society, Black and Brown Boys.

I don’t want you to carry this burden that is why we raise you with a strong sense of knowledge of your past and present conditions, while instilling you with pride and knowing your inherent value and beauty in this world. You are not the perceived problem you so intently listened to on public radio, as they discussed how Black and Brown boys are perceived in schools, you are the kind and caring young man that all praise each day. There is no need for you to carry this burden of Black and Brown in this society, and I will continue to fight with love in my heart and in as many places and spaces so that you and so many others do not have to carry this burden.  The progress and subsequent gains made by the presence of famous individuals like Martin Luther King Jr., Maya Angelou, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, James Baldwin, Cesar Chavez and Barack Obama are so much more important in our lives, than the itchy trigger fingers and swinging batons of the Bull Connor’s of the world.

But in the end the optimist in me sees a different fate for you, one not wrapped in violence and hate, but one bundled with strength and love. One where the teachings of compassion that our family never strays far from, even in the darkest moments, will continue to guide your life as you successfully navigate the many challenges this society may have in store from you. In the end, you are my beautiful, brilliant, compassionate and loving son who deserves to and will live a life full of light and face each challenge with love. As history has taught us, hatred and violence never achieves anything and in all spaces I hope you walk down a path of love and compassion.  For no enemy has ever made a friend through hate.

Love,

Daddy

Charles L. Mason, Jr.

Leader

A little inspiration on MLK Day!

"You are the leader this world needs. If your primary intention is to be present with your world, be compassionate with others, and be a force of positive change in the world, there is nothing holding you back. There is no one else that will clean up your life and make you happy. There is no one else who will be able to effect true change in your neighborhood like you can. There is nobody else who will offer your heart to the world and experience its sacred qualities but you. You can make a difference in this world, so long as you have confidence in your innate ability to love."

-Lodro Rinzler, "The Buddha Walks Into A Bar: A Guide To Life For A New Generation"

Time

Spend time with love.
Spend time with joy.
Spend time with compassion.
Spend time with peace.

No more laying with hate and fear and anger and pain.

-Charles L. Mason, Jr.