EPPIES GREAT RACE

My son and I have decided to run Eppie’s Great Race on July 16^th, 2016. We have dreamed for 2 years of competing in Eppie's Great Race (EGR) together. Miles is 11 (will turn 12 a few days after the race), and Charles is 48. We have had all the excuses and challenges in the last few years that have prevented us from entering, but this year we have committed to finally competing, and started training to enter this year’s race.

What is Eppie’s Great Race?[1] Eppie's Great Race is the world’s oldest triathalon that occurs every July in Sacramento and Rancho Cordova, CA where participants complete a run (5.82 miles), bike (12.5 miles) and kayak (6.1 miles) legs along the beautiful American River Parkway.

We are running to support each other and to support 2 causes dear to our hearts, ALS and Diabetes research and programming. Our uncle, Andre Apacanis passed from complications of ALS in 2006 on Miles' 2nd birthday. My grandfather, Rufus L. Mason was a Type 1 diabetic and died before I was born, many family members, past and present family members deal with the complications of Type 2 diabetes. I utilize running, yoga, meditation, biking, and healthy eating as a way to stay healthy. Miles uses all the above in addition to participating in sports like baseball to stay fit. Participating in sports activities as a family allows us to not only remain close, but to also minimize the potential impacts of health related disease.

We hope to inspire other father/son, and other family teams to take on the race and many other competitions. We are also are hoping to inspire others battling diseases like ALS and diabetes to pursue their dreams, and conquer hurdles they thought impossible to clear.

We have run several 5k's together, and run, bike, practice yoga, and meditate together with sister Yemaya. Miles and Yemaya also plan to compete in the Eppies Kids Duathalon October 16th.

We also invite others to join our team!

We will be extremely thankful for everyone's support, it not only fulfills a father and son's dream, but also supports the memory of loved ones we have lost to these two terrible diseases, and all that battle them still today, bringing hope that cures are on the way.

https://www.gofundme.com/milesdadgreatrace Thank you for your support in advance.

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[1] www.eppiesgreatrace.org

 

Self-Care Series Part 2 – Meditation

Over the next several weeks I will be releasing a series of short blogs on self-care, based on many things that I do personally, and what I have observed in others. This will be a primer for a future self-care and life journey book to appear in 2016. Enjoy the journey!

This is the second blog in my Self-Care Series.

Meditation

I just finished my morning mediation, and I reflected to when I was a kid, and I would often sit in meditative states unaware that I was tapping into an ancient practice that exist in different forms in many cultures. I would move away from my quiet sessions alone where I attempt to calm myself during frustrating times ad a child. As I grew into a young adult I viewed meditation/mindfulness as something that was not attainable to me. It was something that well trained followers of eastern religions executed, and unless I converted to those faiths, meditation was not accessible to me. I was not aware that many faiths, non-faiths, religions, cultures, ethnicities, etc. practiced some form of meditation. Over the last 15 years I have been lucky enough to rediscover meditation through reading, spiritual discovery, and yoga.

For most of us the toughest thing to do is to be alone with ourselves, with no music, television, reading, video games or any other activity going on, except sitting quietly with just you. I know when I first began to sit; I was terrified of what I might find out about my true self.

My practice has been pulled from different traditions, but mainly tied to Buddhist and yogic traditions. I first re-attempted meditation years ago through reading books by Stephen Bachelor (Buddhism Without Beliefs), and Angel Kyodo Williams (Being Black). I was not looking for a religion to follow, but more looking for spiritual practices to incorporate into my life that would help with keeping a daily balance, and facing my fears. My practice would remain erratic for several years, until about 7 years ago when I began running regularly again, and practicing yoga. I also was reading text by many spiritual leaders (Pema Chodron, Thich Naht Hahn, the Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra. etc.), all of which put forth meditation as one way to bring happiness and joy into your life. One of the hardest parts of meditation is all those thoughts running through your head, and how you begin to let them flow by, and not trigger the fears that impede each day.

It also began to look at how meditation has been instrumental in the following, supported now by medical, scientific, and personal accounts.

·         Emotional well-being

·         Improved physical and emotional stress

·         Improved health, including reduction in blood pressure

·         Improved breathing and relaxation

·         Reduction in worrying and anxiety

·         Improved optimism

·         Improved focus

·         Less depression

·         Better thinking and creativity

·         Lessons premenstrual and menopausal problems

·         And many more

I practice daily now, and incorporate meditation into my other activities, such as running. Meditation is not just sitting with your legs crossed on a cushion. You can sit in a chair; meditate as you exercise, on your walk to work, and many other activities. I even use mindfulness during those stuff conversations and meetings at home and work. I also meditate now with my 2 young children, teaching them early the benefits of mindfulness. My son has testified how he has used his breathing in tough situations in school successfully. In fact, a group called Mindful Schools in Oakland, CA has introduced mindfulness as a way to improve behavior of students.

Meditation is a powerful tool that takes the simplest and hardest action, just being with ourselves. Practicing mindfulness/meditation does not require you to visit a guru or temple, or even attend a yoga or meditation class. There are plenty of guides in spiritual books, or online. Find the style and type of practice that works for you. Whether you sit quietly and follow your breath, or scan your body, or stand next to a running river with your hands at your side, find that space in your daily routine to take, 5, 10, 15, 30 60 minutes to honor  yourself, and you just might find many other parts of your life improve.

Yoga, Super Dude and Me

Many people know that I practice yoga at least a few times a week.  Well, likely more, since I am practicing often when I am not on my mat.  From the time he was born, I have introduced some aspect of yoga to my son, Miles.  At first it was a fun kid’s yoga game that we would play and he learned some of the more kid-friendly poses like the Cat-Cow sequence.   Later when he was pushing past the terrible 2’s and making his way to the ripe old ages of 4 and 5, I started teaching him breathing techniques to deal with anger and impulses.  Last year when he was 7 creeping towards 8 I enrolled him into a week-long yoga camp put on by Yoga Across America (http://www.yogaacrossamerica.org/drupal-7.0/) and he had a blast.  He tried my yoga class once around this time, but it was tough for him and he dropped out about half way through.  I was proud of him for making it that far, if he only knew how hard it was for me when I entered that studio for the first time.  Later in the year the studio I practice at added kids classes a few days a week, while parents poured and I do mean poured into the main studio to practice.  He loved it and he went several times.

Then…

This summer arrived and he turned to me one day and asked if he could come to my class again.  He wanted to spend more time with his dad and I was pretty committed to my trips to the studio.  Let me explain a bit to about where I practice yoga.  It is at Zuda Yoga (http://www.zudayoga.com/) in Sacramento.  Zuda teaches Power Vinyasa yoga.  This means that a bunch of Type A personalities pack into a room that is heated to 90 or so degrees and flow through a practice that includes many moves that build strength.  On my first visit to tour the studio a few years ago the lady at the desk said, “....this practice will get you cut, MMA guys practice here.”  Mind you I had spent the previous 6 months in a more gentle and restorative practice and was headed to a Ashram for a week upon hearing this news, but 10 days later there I was in the back of the room sweating out all the toxins in my body and observing which of my muscles I had never used or wanted to use.  I never drank so much water or created greater pools of water from my own flesh.

I turned to my then 8 year old son (he turned 9 in July) that day and said, “Okay.”  This would begin the summer’s journey of about 8 classes of yoga I would attend with my son. I was excited and a bit skeptical and pretty sure I was leading him to a pretty big life lesson.  This was true, but the biggest life lesson would be for me, not him.  As all parents know, it is hard for us to watch our kids do something and not want to assist or fix or make sure they do it right and follow instructions.  This is particularly true with Miles and I, his independent spirit has you keeping an eye on him at all times and this does not mix well with yoga.  Yoga is you on your mat, pushing through your crap or knowing when to back off or rest. 

Well…

At first this was not an option for Miles.  As we sat in the back corner that I occupy every time that I practice at Zuda.  Yes, I arrive 30 minutes before class to ensure that I sit in that same spot each time and have time to meditate.  My son would plop right next to me and we would begin the routine of filling our water bottles, and laying out our mats and grabbing our blocks.  I would meditate and he would go to the reception/shop area and talk with the friendly staff and other yogi’s as they came in and hide under the clothing racks.  Sometimes he would pop in to give me a kiss and then disappear back out front.  As practice would near, I would get nervous and start going out to get him back into the studio and on his mat.  I was mostly worried that he was disturbing someone or would try to skip out on class, but each time he would walk back in with me, partially complaining about the heat.

On the first day he was great, Miles made it all the way through, tried most of the poses and only left midway for a few minutes to go to the bathroom.  The bathroom break would become part of his routine and I would be filled with anxiety each time, until he returned to his mat and he returned each and every time.  The next 2-3 times would be more difficult, there was more complaining from him, more correction of his poses from me, more breaks on his mat from him, less pre-practice meditation from me.  I was struggling in my practice and was clearly focused on his mat, not mine.  What is a dad to do?  Here he was typically the only kid in the class and loved by the teachers, staff and other yogi’s.  They all ask about him every time I go to practice.  However, for me it was not enough and this is where the learning begins.

Through the last 6 classes he would attend with me, I begin to notice I was journaling in the morning before each class more and more about my relationship with my son and how I could be more patient with him, not yell so much, allow him more space to roam in the world.  So, I made a commitment to remain on my mat physically, mentally and spiritually and to let his practice be his own.  There was nothing easy in this proposition and I can say I never fully lived up to it, but I struggled through it each time.  I found that the more I focused on my practice and me, my heart opened up more, the kinder I was to him and the more space I gave him to explore his practice.  We always got along better after yoga class. Despite the struggles for him to complete each class, he always said he felt refreshed after class.  It also meant that we were headed home to change and find food and lots of it, since we were always really hungry afterwards.

These days I miss his presence in class and cannot wait for him to join me in December for a few classes during his break from school.  I am thankful that yoga has deepened and improved my relationship with my “Super Dude” son.  However, in the end the one that really grew was me.  I have grown as father, a yogi and a being, whose self and relationships have expanded with more kindness, patience, tolerance, compassion and love and all because my son wanted to do more things with me.

Ubuntu, Buddha and Me

This blog is a bit of a preview of beautiful things to come. The New Year is upon us and over the last few months I have been contemplating my next big writing assignment after I finish my collection of short stories in early 2012. On a recent trip, I was sitting in a meeting and a title and subject came to me. The setting of the book would be me, me the last few years as I have faced some of the most difficult times of my life, while also being given the most beautiful gifts of my journey thus far.

The title of my pending book will be Buddha, Ubuntu and Me, this may require me to self-publish, but that is not inconsistent with who I am. There are two streams of inspiration for the book. First, I did borrow the title of the book a bit from a family member. For many years my second cousin, Lynne Duke wrote for the Washington Post. Thought I don’t remember meeting her as a young child, since she was one of the few of my mom, Anice’s immediate family members that was not at the many of the large family gatherings. I lived in D.C. off and on for years and I had unknowingly been reading Lynne’s articles in the Post for a few years and one day mom asked if I had read any of her articles and I thought about it and finally made the connection. I was notorious for reading articles and focusing on the title and subject and not the author, especially since on most days I read most of the paper, wherever I was.

I began to send articles home occasionally or collect them to bring home with me during holiday trips or my many moves back and forth between CA and DC. Eventually, Lynne was assigned to follow Nelson Mandela and his presidency and was assigned to South Africa as the Post’s correspondent. I relished in reading her articles and still regret not taking the open family invite to come to South Africa and see it all. However, I would be introduced to the term Ubuntu and South African life through her words. At the end of her tenure in South Africa, she wrote a book, Mandela, Mobutu and Me. From here is where I have borrowed the rhythm of my title.

The other inspirations from my title are implicit in the words. First, Buddha, which alludes to my inspiration from Buddhist and Yogic traditions. Though not necessarily Buddhist, I do follow some practices from Buddhism, I meditate most days and practice yoga at least twice a week for the last several years. I have also been fascinated by both traditions and their interconnections since childhood. Many of these practices have been an important part of my re-discovery of myself.

The second word is Ubuntu, which is a South African term that has several transitions, but speaks to the common humanity of all people. Three years ago, while forming my non-profit organization, I struggled to name it for weeks and new that part of the name would have the word green it to symbolize our desire to green all communities, not just the affluent. I had for the past 10 years, periodically put the term Ubuntu on my email signature, using one of the many interwoven definitions. Of all the great quotes and statements I posted over the years, none ever received more positive feedback and inquiry than Ubuntu. After a final night of thinking in early 2009, Ubuntu Green was born and it is now my professional passion.

The third word in the title is Me. This was the hard one, because writing about me and not hiding it in a story or poem has been one of the hardest things for me to face. I feared what I would find and I feared the reaction of others that may feel threatened or hurt by the truth of my words. However, as I re-found me and the beauty of me and it became clear that part of my journey was to eventually write my story, without fear or pain or judgment.

My inspiration is now upon me and this blog is the first step in the drafting of Buddha, Ubuntu and Me. I am not sure it what it will inspire in the world, but this journey has inspired me to live a beautiful life where I give to myself, my family, my friends, my community, my world every day.

Happy Holidays!